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K A T H A R S I S

K A T H A R S I S

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Katharsis is an exercise in self-expression and a mélange of myriad interests, written by Kat Santos—artmaker, teacher, and lover of the universe.

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  • Embarking on a Journey of Self-Exploration
  • Applying for a Japan Visa in the Philippines
  • On Awareness and Transience
  • My Tiny Wedding: The Venue
  • My Tiny Wedding: The Dress

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It’s ridiculously easy to forget how far you’ve come when all you do is compare yourself with others and you do it habitually, automatically. These past few days I’ve been doing a lot of reflection and have made an insane amount of realizations, many of which are not at all easy to accept. It’s also easy for us to fall into the trap of oversimplification—we jump to conclusions about people, ideas, behaviors without bothering to give them any more of our time and thought. I spent pretty much my whole life calling myself stupid, dumb, unlovable, useless, inadequate. And when you tell yourself this all the time, the voice is louder than anyone else’s, it’s all you hear, thus it’s all you believe. I stopped making art at what I think was the most pivotal moment in my “career” as a budding artist. I’ve gotten so used to failed attempts that failing was no longer new to me; in fact, failure has become ingrained in my comfort zone and I even took pride in it sometimes. Rejection didn’t bother me; I was used to it. I used this a shield, not realizing that while I was protecting myself from the outside world, I was warring with myself. I finished the third portrait in a series of four commissions from @villoriahua who, since 2015 has put her trust in me and in my capabilities, which I, most of the time, found difficult to do myself. The last four or five days have been extraordinary—an awakening of sorts. At the moment, I am working on something else entirely unrelated to art, but I am hoping that, in the process, I discover how I can work on the skills I worked hard to learn and begin to share with everyone what I am able to create. No matter how raw, no matter how flawed.
#WIP
Two. @villoriahua #watercolor
That background tho 😱
Reworking this portrait. This time with blocks of Viarco ArtGraf pigments.
Clean and pretty ❤️ 📸 Ron Garcia Signature Photography
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